More Than Kids

Día de los Muertos - Day of the Dead

This summer was my third year photographing mothers from the Mother of an Angel Network. I have created a strong bond with these families and I expect to remain friends with them for the rest of our lives.

Mindy Mercado Mothers Dia de los Muertos - Images by bryan farley

When I met Mindy Mercado this summer, I wondered how I would share her story. I knew that I would never forget her nor her son Alex even though I never met him. Alex died two years and two days ago on October 30, 2009. My son Mason was born two months before Alex, so I could imagine losing a little guy, especially at this time of the year while he was excitedly preparing for Halloween.

Day of The Dead follows Halloween. My children have learned about the holiday at their Spanish immersion bilingual public school, but the holiday is foreign to me. When I was younger, I thought that the holiday was about people painting their faces white and eating skull candy. I did not understand the seriousness or the community aspect of dia de los Muertos. Halloween was the real holiday.

Grief was meant to be private, even when families visited cemeteries. However, when Mindy and her son visited Alex's grave, another family walked over to Mindy. They shared her grief; it was normal. Both of the families spoke Spanish, so I did not understand what was said, but I understood what was communicated. Community.

Back To Novato Blvd

Earlier this month I visited San Marin High School to say hello to "old friends." I will always have great memories of the students, staff and community.

I will also remember a student I never met. A couple weeks after I started teaching last year, a student from the cross town high school died in a car accident. The student had been a pasenger and died at the scene. His friends and/or family built a roadside memorial, and maintained it throughout the year. Because of my work with Mothers of Angels, I felt compelled to visit the site often and pray for the family.

When I returned to San Marin this month, I drove down the county road again and visited.

 

Isaac Brott Roadside Memorial - One Year Later - Images by bryan farley

Last month, I visited Fresno County for my annual shoot with the Mothers of Angels. I saw a another roadside memorial that has been maintained by the landowners years after another teen age boy died in a car accident. These road signs help heal the unimaginable.

Isaac Brott 2011 Memorial

During the 2010-2011 school year, I remembered Isaac Brott and his family. Isaac attended Novato High, the rival school across town, but he died near San Marin High School. When I applied for the open multimedia teaching position on August 16, 2010, I was in Fresno preparing for my annual Mother of an Angel photo shoot. 

On September 17, 2010, Isaac died in a car accident down the road from San Marin. Every week during the school year, I visited his roadside memorial. During the first few weeks, I visited every day. Later, I visited every week, except the weeks that we were gone on vacation.

Visiting helped me remember who I was as a teacher, photographer, father and person.Even when I realized that my position was going to be eliminated, I knew that I had something greater to teach my students. Life matters. Relationships matter. People make a difference. My students' parents wanted me to take care of their children. My own children wanted me to drive home safely and tuck them in at night.  I wanted to be there for them... for all of them.

 

Isaac Brott Novato Roadside Memorial 2011 - Images by bryan farley

 

I often thought about Isaac's family and friends too. Isaac's death has changed their lives forever. While I believe in the power of imagery to change behavior, I also know that photos can only do so much.

Mother of Bryan

Today is my mother's birthday.  It seems an appropriate way to end the month, a month that has been full of mothers.

Two weeks ago, my mother attended the Mother of an Angel event. It was the first time she had met all the mothers. I watched my own mother interact with the other mothers. I knew that the other mothers were complimenting me. Of all the compliments I received for the project, the comments from the mothers to my mother were the most cherished. I accomplished something.

I also noticed how easily my moved between conversations. Despite the situation, she was genuine and supportive. (If I have any social awkwardness, I can't blame her.)  

I saw her again last weekend when I took this photo. Somehow, I look surprised. 

 

The Mothers have entered the building

When I first started exploring the world of tattoos, I had a suspicious mind. I questioned people's motives for marking their body. I wondered if tattoo artists impersonated real artists, much like the Elvis impersonator outside of Jay's shop filming a commercial.

The more time I spend with Jay Esparza at Resistance Tattoo Gallery, the more I realize that most people receive tattoos for significant reasons. On Saturday, members of the Mothers of an Angel Friendship Network visited Jay's shop. These women mark their bodies to remember their children who have died. 

Mothers at Resistance Gallery - Images by bryan farley

At the end of the session, Jay's daughter visited. Jay returned to Fresno to be near his daughter; Jay had been a successful art director in the video game industry... not the typical image of tattoo life.